Ur thought is beautiful,
Ur presence is best,
For u…. I can keep the world at rest….
Wen I was born,
U welcomed me with a smile,
U nourished me so fine,
It made me feel tat I am divine………….
Holding ur finger,
I learned to walk,
Hearing u talking,
I learned to talk…………
U were the one who washed my fear,
U were the one who wiped my tear,
U were the one made me enjoy my life,
U r the one for whom iam living this life………….
Failures made me feel like a shed out feather,
But ur presence for me was always like a climbing ladder………
U slaps were tight,
They made me realize tat life is a tough fight………….
U moulded me so well,
U brought me up so well,
Now I know where GOD actually dwells…………
To be ur son is wat I always desire,
My love for u is like an everlasting fire……………
U r a precious gift,
Mirror of divine,
Ur beautiful nature made me always shine……………
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THIS BLOG CONTAINS MY ORIGINAL POEMS ......... I WUD B GLAD IF U GIV UR VALUABLE SUGGESTIONS ON MY POEMS N I WILL DEFINITELY TRY 2 IMPROVE DEM.....
2 comments:
This is a good poem but in my opinion, I think it would help your rhyming poems alot if you changed how you wrote them.....
Like...
Instead of:
U were the one who washed my fear,
U were the one who wiped my tear,
You could put:
U were the one who washed my fears,
U were who wiped away my never ending tears.
...................................
Do you see how much better it flows...?...All you have to do is make the second line longer than the first line...................And kind of drag out the end of the second line......WELL I hope I was able to help you....I am 17 and have been writing poetry and songs for a while........You should check out my blog I just started.......And comment me on some stuff...
Gr8 job dude.the only thing i felt wsnt cool ws when u made it too specific like u made me feel that i m divine instead made me feel divine and my life instead of just life...but good poem
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